I didn’t realise how taboo speed-dating was until I told people I was gonna do it. But for me, it was no biggie – I’d seen enough movies and TV shows to understand the protocol. You speak to random strangers for a few minutes or so in the hope that a first impression could be the difference between singledom and perhaps, one day, going half on a baby. Aint no thang, surely?
Well! I had a total of 13 dates (each 3 minutes each), and only one stood out as a potential friend – he was very charming, relaxed, cute, intelligent – and we ended up talking into the interval (so, about 10 mins). Safe dude. And here’s the most memorable worst of the bunch:
The spitter – A very peculiar dude who needed a towel to wipe up the excess saliva he was splashing all over my table. He was a bit of an eediot too – when he asked me what I did for a living and I told him, “journalist and photographer” and he said (and I quote): “That’s an interesting job…I hate you already.” Is that so? Next. (And you better hope I don’t spot you on Crimewatch jack!)
The Old City guy – So the maximum age for the fellas at this event had to be 35-years-old. I’m certain homie was 42. And he was nervous. Oh so, nervous. And there were a lot of awkward silence. Poor chap. Possibly a divorcee
Mr Star Sign – His first question was, what’s your star sign, of which I reluctantly said ‘Leo’, and was given a big fat smile afterwards. Ooooookay. And ‘Isn’t it?’ was his favourite response. He did remind me of Apu from the Simpsons, I can’t even lie.
Mr Tipsy – I mean, really? You’re that shook? Dang.
Mr Arrogant – A dude who was extremely forceful, intense, fake – and who leaned into my personal space, ended up coming out for dinner with us (more or less invited himself), and called me an Alpha Female. All in the name of ‘I Like You’ (or so I was told by one of my friends). His presence more or less ruined my evening. You’re not meant to come out of the boundaries of the event – unless dude is like THAT DUDE (and even then, THAT DUDE needs to go through SpeedDaters computer system and match me before we can even contemplate friendship) So that was that.
But hey, I did it Yey, me. I’d do it again too (maybe).